Day 5
Harlow Meets Aphrodite
Harlow was right in the middle of parking her janitorial cart when Aphrodite casually ambled out of the men's bathroom. Harlow blinked, then blinked again, but before she could ask the question of what in the world was going on, Aphrodite spoke, “Hello, Harlow,” and Harlow became entranced.
Mesmerized.
She sighed.
Enraptured.
The woman was like a cool breeze on a warm day. A warm blanket on a cold night. She was sunshine and lollipops and rainbows and kittens. She was meadows and meadows filled with glorious blooming wildflowers. A tray of freshly baked brownies during your period. All puffy lips and sloe eyes and lush golden hair. The painting of her in the clam shell did not do her justice and Harlow could only smile stupidly and barely suppress the urge to drop to her knees and worship at the glorious woman’s feet.
“Look at this.” The goddess placed a weekly news magazine in Harlow's hand.“It says: “The Greeks: Working in Hell for Your Eternity,”
Three powerful goddesses: Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena, graced the cover with words boldly emblazoned across their elegantly clad bodies. Genius work if she said so herself.
Aphrodite used an impeccably manicured index finger to tap her media likeness. “Don't I look dashing?” Aphrodite took the magazine back and studied Harlow. Her eyes sparkled. “My nephew thinks highly of you, Miss Snow-Sheridan. I like you, too. You have a bit of goddess in you.”
She sauntered off before Harlow could mutter much more than, “thank you.” Aphrodite was halfway down the hall before Harlow shook off the stupid.
Soren exited the men's bathroom. “What are you doing?” he said.
Harlow looked at him. “Did you see Aphrodite in there?”
“Why would Aphrodite be in the men's bathroom?”
“That is the men's bathroom, right?” She looked at the sign then down the hall to where Aphrodite had been, then back to the sign. “Now I'm confused.”
“Confused? It says men's right there.”
“I can't read Eternitian and my dictionary has limited functionality. I match the symbols on the doors to the symbols on my schedule list. I don't actually read. And I don’t understand why everything is written in Eternitian when everyone speaks English. It doesn’t make sense.”
That had Soren frowning. “What language do you think we’re speaking?”
“English.”
“Noooo,” he said slowly. “We are speaking Eternitian.”
“Impossible. I speak in English and everyone responds in English.”
“No,” he countered.
“Yes.” Cuz’ she didn’t know her own language? She’d been speaking it her whole life.
“No. Right now I am speaking Eternitian,” he insisted.
He couldn’t be more wrong, and he was starting to piss her off with his insistence. “Nope. English. I don’t know Eternitian.”
“Yes, Eternitian. And, when you speak it is Eternitian, not English.”
“Okay, Soren, I can’t help it if you’re wrong.”
Soren pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re telling me that everyone in Eternity is speaking English, an obscure language so young it’s laughable and not Eternitian, the language spoken here before time was time?”
“Yep.” And that was the end of that because she couldn’t handle anymore kooky changes in her death. Besides, what difference did it make what language she spoke? She still couldn’t read Eternitian and that had been the whole point of the conversation. He was such a pain in her ass!
“That’s why you want me to read everything for you?” He scowled and pulled the EGLAD from his back pocket.
Harlow shook her head. “You carry it with you? God, you're such a dork.”
He glared at her. “According to the EGLAD every human soul regains all knowledge of Eternity which includes language, money, and culture. You don't know anything. Except for the money.”
Harlow pointed to her head. “Female brain smart with numbers.”
“That doesn't explain why you don't know a damn thing about things you should,” he snapped.
Harlow rolled her eyes, not this again! Like she had any control or knowledge over how she’d arrived. He needed to let it go. “Neither does it explain why you were caught in the men's bathroom with Aphrodite. Is Aphrodite your aunt?”
“My aunt?” He gaped at her. “One of the most powerful Lakas in Eternity and Harlow thinks I meet her in bathrooms and call her auntie.” He shook his head and walked away, “I’m living with a crazy human.”
“I can hear you,” she called out.
“I know,” he called back.
“How would she know my name?”
“I'm guessing the name tag had something to do with it.”
“I'm not–” There on her left breast, was a white and blue nametag with: “ξαΩ, ∞ώ ϞΨζ δη.” Creepy.
She yanked it and, sadly, it held firm. She sighed and maneuvered her janitorial cart into the women's bathroom.
A Change in Couch
It was late when Harlow arrived home. Pulling all-nighters to get her jobs done truly wore her out. She liked her work, but she really liked her sleep. A few a days ago when she’d been alive, she’d been happily anticipating a long stretch of well-deserved make-up sleep. Her untimely death derailed all her slumber goals and she was pretty upset about it, yet another reason death was dumb.
The apartment was quiet, but Soren had left a couple of lights on for her. He, at least, was getting a full night’s rest. She made a sandwich in the kitchen and brought it into the living room where a puffy, shiny new recliner rested where the couch used to be. Still had the tag on it and everything. Two seconds later she was cozily ensconced on the overstuffed chair. She pulled up the leg rest and leaned back. “Oh, yeah. This is nice.”
The tv flickered to life and she ate while watching a romantic comedy. Twenty minutes later she was nearly asleep when a sleep rumpled Soren took the controller out of her hand and turned off the t.v.
“They delivered this instead of your couch,” he said. ”Come to bed.”
Harlow considered ignoring him and staying right where she was, but the bed was more comfortable. She stretched and stood.
Soren frowned at her feet. “Where did you get those?”
Harlow blinked at her new footwear. “Diego's. He's the best cobbler in Hell.” She posed her foot left and right. “Snazzy, yeah?”
“That's Rehan's favorite shoe shop.”
Sure was, and now it was Harlow’s too. Great minds and all that. It was tough to resist hand tooled leather shoes that made her feel like a sexy goddess. “She's got great taste. I’d be a fool not to follow her lead. Is it too soon to ask Pine for a raise? I mean, Rehan is an heiress and has her new job in the Pit so she has cash to burn, but you try living on a dispatch operator’s salary.”
“I am. You’re living on a janitor’s salary,” he said around a yawn as he turned off the apartment lights.
She followed him down the hall to the bedroom. Soren paused on his side of the bed and gave her another frown. “Wait a minute. We haven’t gotten paid yet. How did you buy those shoes?”
“You gave me your credit card yesterday.” She carefully took off her wonderful shoes and grabbed her new pajamas from the dresser drawer.
“Yeah, because you said you needed a ‘couple of things’ and Cyvarian said I had to or he’d make sure my life was pure hell before he fired me.”
“Exactly. I needed those shoes. And some clothes,” she held up her pjs and then pointed to her new skirt and blouse. Her job demanded she dress accordingly and there was no way in Eternity she was wearing her one ridiculous Earth outfit every day for the rest of eternity. She had a reputation to establish and maintain and when it came to fashion, Lakas women were more exacting then New York fashionistas.
“Do you know how much shoes from Diego’s cost?”
“Sure do.” A lot. And totally worth it. She’d wait until the bill came in before she mentioned everything else she’d purchased; besides, she was sure he’d get reimbursed. She was, technically, a work expense. Or not. Rehan told her how much he made in his real job, so Harlow wasn’t worried. At all. It might hurt, but it wasn’t going to gut him. She left and changed in the bathroom.
When she returned to the bedroom Soren was in the bed but was still scowling at her. “What do you mean Rehan is working in the Pit?”
“As the Pit Office Manager. The demon with the Superman torso got her the job,” she said as she spread her new lotion on her hands and arms (Elysium Orange Blossom, it smelled heavenly), and climbed in her side of the bed.
“Mercer gave her a job in the Pit? Has she ever been to the Pit? What in the hell is he thinking?”
“You're asking the wrong person.” She rolled over and blissfully relaxed into the pillow. “Besides, why do you care? Is it because she’s working with Mercer and he has a bite-able ass? I mean seriously gaa-rrowl.” No really, that demon’s rumpuss was dream worthy.
“Spare me your fantasies. Speaking of which, did I see you during lunch at Esmee's Coffee House with the minotaur from the club?”
“Jim? Aw, he's sweet.”
“Oh geesus.” Soren flounced, yes flounced, to his side, pulling most of the blankets with him. That too was ok, she’d get them later. Harlow smiled as she drifted off to sleep.